Ben Zeus arrivés @ the scene
I met someone who will help me with this journey. He is a very interesting friend of my girlfriend and picked up some experience with writing and publishing along the way. He has listened to my idea, story and planning. He almost edurite recognizes the biggest picture. According to him, there should be at least a good quality book, the interest of publishers and a plan.
We agree that he will participate in the process of realization.
I quickly find that very difficult because everything he says comes with a personal attack, an attack on my ability to write and a denial of my reality and truth. He hits even harder with his feedback. In the meantime, I hate him so much that he knows how to motivate me. Everything he says is true and its annoys me.
“That’s not how your book will ever get finished Justin, nobody wants to read it and no one buys it, your story is good and authentic, but the way you write it is called rape“.
I get angry and terrorize my surroundings, so he is also a victim. I bombard his Whatsapp with the arguments of my even. He reads it, because I see two blue check marks, but does not respond. If he does respond, it is short ending with the question whether I already feel better. I scold him for everything I can think of, try to hurt him to the bone and I curse him, but he does not leave. The topic is still sextrafficking, it is a crime and I am a fugitive. Still police might come into action, pherhaps even my former partners, the Russian?
If I do not deliver quality, then I should not complain about criticism either. If I prefer a feather in my ass for my current quality, then I better just let little frogs read. He is the gentleman of knowledge, wisdom and contacts. Only when it is good enough for him, only then does he moves, because then the publishers will also want to move. I must produce first.
What if I go back to that period in time? Is my environment prepared for the sake of a goal, to accept the Justin they all hate? Am I going to lose people again? I have already made so many unnecessary victims and have torpedoed friendships to the bottom with disproportionate war rhetoric. Even my nearest friends don’t know.