Nearly a year later.
I have written about a third of all parts in the planner. It is a bit fragmented in order. There is also the vicious circle of the safe area again. I notice that I have to go back mentally far and deep for intensive parts. I extract the relevant circumstance from the dark archives and experience it again. I smell the concrete corridors and the leather from the bank, the house in Dakovo.
I do not get away with ‘I felt like that then’. I have to go back, to relive, the intensity of the whole, the psyche and the feeling. It costs me a lot of effort. This is not the quality that is expected and habitates in me. I therefore decided to focus during my summer vacation on rewriting and awakening my talent.
I notice that pieces become much more striking and direct, more to the point and raw.
Over 200 pages are rewritten and submitted again. After the holiday everyone will read again. I find it special that I have people around me who read it over and over again, over and over again. People who are enthusiastic and ask for new text but have to wait. While when I hand in something, I expect them to drop everything to read and review it. Fortunately, they are genuinely critical and persevere, even though I compulsively urge.
More and more people are now becoming familiar with the process. Especially in the street where I live. More and more neighbors are becoming familiar with the fact that the neighbor is now really writing a book about trafficking women. The neighbors all know me and see in my actions and dealings, without knowing it, the legacy of my past. Exactly that makes some neighbors doubt about the fictitious content. There will be something true of it, right?
Dear neighbors, it is all true, but nobody should know that. Despite the objection, all female neighbors want to read. I have chosen one, the rest I will ask to read when it is finished. I’m curious.
The chapter of Ivanka, or the Eagle, will make her think about reality. About her own definition of freedom.